10 months since we held you

10 months (40 weeks) ago today was the first and last time I held you. Rather then filling your "First Year" book with a monthly picture today I visited your grave.

40 weeks ago I had to say hello and goodbye all within a few short hours. I tried my best to give you a lifetime of kisses. I had to let you go. I will never forget the feeling of someone else walking off with you and that would be the last time I saw you. I had to let my baby go, I do not know how I had the strength to refrain myself from chasing after you.

I left the hospital empty handed and broken hearted.

Today it hurts just as bad.

I love you and miss you, both of these emotions play out equally.