Happy Birthday DH

We need to back track a bit to catch up.


DH has been suffering from Chronic Depression since the death of our son and nothing seemed to break his downward spiral. I tried to push him forward; I tried to entice him with new gifts and not to hold him back from any activity he showed interest in. Nothing worked. He did a good job fooling those around him that everything was OK because every few days/or weeks he would peak out for a few hours around the company of others. I was never blessed to have this man to myself. He would work hard at getting some chores or a project done or be spotted on the slopes with his snow board. He then would tell his doctors that he was doing better and give these examples. The unfortunate part about treating him was that I was not aloud in the doctor’s office to share my observations. So he continued to get worst until that scary day on September 22nd when his one constant was cut off, his job. When he was alone in his depression he would often find solace in his computer because he could identify himself as a computer guy. His computer was taken back, his cell phone cut off, his reason for getting up each day was gone and the financial stability of our household was soon going to end.

DH found himself at a crossroads. He could either continue on his life path as the man with the dead baby and no job or he could get better. I am so proud to say he chose to get better. He quit the drugs cold turkey and decided to push through the withdrawal on his own. I have to admit this was a rocky period in our marriage and I was ready to walk out the door as I feel that I have already put up with enough. He was a bear! But the bear emerged from his den and started to help out around the house and interact with Elodie. When times got tough we remembered what one of our facilitators shared with us in bereavement group. He too had lost his job soon after the death of his son and found it to be a very therapeutic time for him to heal. He moved on to a job where no one had seen him at his lowest and re found the need to impress his colleagues. This story gave us both comfort, knowing someone so like us had walked this path.

Fortunately DH had great success with his resume and the interview requests started. It was not too long before DH entertained a job offer.

Today is DH’s 30 Birthday. Currently he is in bed cuddled up to Elodie and will be waking up to take her swimming shortly. I am proud of how far DH has come and wish him a spotless future.

“Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future.”
                     Melanie Gustafson

“Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
                    Ralph Waldo Emerson