Thank goodness I am home alone (with the exception of Elodie) because sometimes I catch myself saying the oddest, weirds dumbest things. Things that only a mother would say! Husband pointed out to me the other day that these inside comments to Elodie were starting to slip out of the house into the public world, oh gosh!
Today for example.
"Did you poo in the cardboard box? "
Yes, she poo’ed in the card board box I gave her to colour and play with. She was having some pant free potty time and I guess she found a quiet private spot. On the positive side she came and got me to show me where she did it.
“Good Girl for telling mommy you poo’ed in the box!”
“Lets clean the tray and not the cracker.”
She was trying to wash the cheese off her crackers after I gave her the cloth to wipe apple sauce off her face.
December 29, 2011
December 22, 2011
Movember
This is how we finished our Christmas photos off. Undershirts and moustaches in support of Prostate Cancer. Next year Christmas pictures will be booked for December 1st.
Jump for Joy
Can she get any cuter, I think not. I love her to bits and can't stop smiling when I am with her.
December 6, 2011
Kisses
I forgot to update you on some cute cemetery happenings. Who said cuteness could not happen in cemeteries?
When we got out of the car the other weekend, after unhooking the gates and closing them off so Elodie could run free we asked her to find Harrison. She toddled her way down the rows and found his stone.
When we left she leaned down and kissed her brothers stone with a loud smack and another kiss for her Great Grandparents (her name sakes) and said her Buh-Bye and was on her way.
She knows there is something special and loved behind those gates.
When we got out of the car the other weekend, after unhooking the gates and closing them off so Elodie could run free we asked her to find Harrison. She toddled her way down the rows and found his stone.
When we left she leaned down and kissed her brothers stone with a loud smack and another kiss for her Great Grandparents (her name sakes) and said her Buh-Bye and was on her way.
She knows there is something special and loved behind those gates.
November 24, 2011
Working Parents
Sorry blog I don't post much but I don't have much time. With both parents out of the house and a 19 month old time is very limited.
When I lost Harrison I said I wanted to stay at home and raise my children and enjoy every second of them. Reality check we need dual incomes and I like working. I like adults, I like challenges and honestly work gives me a bit of personal time. As for Elodie she loves when Mommy and Daddy are home but we think she may prefer the company of her peers much more. After all they speak her language, challenge her to try new things and are willing to sing the same song over and over again.
Our daughter is showing signs of being the next stage sensation with her rendition of Rolly Polly and Incy Wincy Spider being sung repeatdly and even in her sleep.
Daddy is about to undertake a big transition to find more work/family life balance. In December he will be changing jobs to work for a local hospital in their cancer department. He is really looking forward to putting his passion towards helping others while only being half an hour away from his girls.
When I lost Harrison I said I wanted to stay at home and raise my children and enjoy every second of them. Reality check we need dual incomes and I like working. I like adults, I like challenges and honestly work gives me a bit of personal time. As for Elodie she loves when Mommy and Daddy are home but we think she may prefer the company of her peers much more. After all they speak her language, challenge her to try new things and are willing to sing the same song over and over again.
Our daughter is showing signs of being the next stage sensation with her rendition of Rolly Polly and Incy Wincy Spider being sung repeatdly and even in her sleep.
Daddy is about to undertake a big transition to find more work/family life balance. In December he will be changing jobs to work for a local hospital in their cancer department. He is really looking forward to putting his passion towards helping others while only being half an hour away from his girls.
October 26, 2011
When things are Up I am Down
The anaology that grief is like riding a roller coaster is so true. In the early days you measure progress in minutes, then hours than finally days.
2.5 years later I am still riding this roller coaster but it seems to be in weeks. I had been doing so well until my last visit to the cemetary and I melted down. I found myself lying on the cold ground without the strength to stand up, I did not have the strength to talk on the ride home. The next few days I fought off crying episodes and was a mess. My energy again was being used to keep myself together, which made casual conversation and working quite difficult. What really upset me was how after so much time I could be in such a weak grief striken state without the knowledge to pull myself out.
This last episode did not make much sense to me, things were looking up at home. I was working again, the house was saved and we are all healthy and striving. So why? Why now?
This past weekend I skipped my visit to see him because I could not sink down any lower and I knew I did not have the strength to visit. With this decision the full force of guild swept over me.
I am at a personal impass. Do I visit and accept that it may bring me down for a few days or do I skip visits because I can't afford to go down and accept the guilt it brings. Neither option feels comfortable to me. The reality is I need to ride this next phase of grief and find some resolution to deal with these feelings.
2.5 years later I am still riding this roller coaster but it seems to be in weeks. I had been doing so well until my last visit to the cemetary and I melted down. I found myself lying on the cold ground without the strength to stand up, I did not have the strength to talk on the ride home. The next few days I fought off crying episodes and was a mess. My energy again was being used to keep myself together, which made casual conversation and working quite difficult. What really upset me was how after so much time I could be in such a weak grief striken state without the knowledge to pull myself out.
This last episode did not make much sense to me, things were looking up at home. I was working again, the house was saved and we are all healthy and striving. So why? Why now?
This past weekend I skipped my visit to see him because I could not sink down any lower and I knew I did not have the strength to visit. With this decision the full force of guild swept over me.
I am at a personal impass. Do I visit and accept that it may bring me down for a few days or do I skip visits because I can't afford to go down and accept the guilt it brings. Neither option feels comfortable to me. The reality is I need to ride this next phase of grief and find some resolution to deal with these feelings.
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