Sometimes I scream so loud that no audible noise escapes.
Sometimes I fall to the ground because I can't hold it together any longer.
I can't escape so many awful traumatizing thouhts.
I do not fear death and some days I wish my time would come.
I feel old beyond my years.
I find it hard to relate to friends and family.
I welcome friends who have experienced loss as I know how to relate.
Every thought is followed by a horrible thought in my head.
I feel as if I am owed something and yet I feel worthless.
I have lost any self esteem and all my confidence. I second guess myself.
At the end of the day, after smiling, chatting and partaking in activities I question if I am a great actress or need physiological help, as all the above has played out in my head.
The simple truth is I am broken forever.
So many of your comments hit home...I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I'm here, if you want to talk.
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