It was 3 year's ago you came into our life. 3 Easter's ago we burried you and 2 Easter's ago we welcomed your sister.
Easter is such a bitter sweet day.
As time passes less and less people understand our pain and care to help us through this horrible time. It not only hurts to miss you but to feel so lonely in the world from the people who shared in your brief hours with us. How dare they forget the sacred little boy I shared with them and allowed them to hold when I ached to never let him go.
Reality is I am still angry and bitter. Mad that Harrison left me and mad that I no one wants to know me well enough to understand my pain. If you happen to stumble across this post and realize we have drifted apart and I no longer try to connect with you, chances are you have probably greatly offended me and I tried to reach out to you and help you support me but I was brushed off or you made no efforts to acknowledge what was nearest and dearest to me and to make some accomodations for my grief. My job was to survive. I do not appologize for making anyone feel uncomfortable when I speak my son's name or share his picture all I asked was that you look into my eyes and see my love for my child.
Harrison, Daddy and I lit a candle for you sang you Happy Birthday and read you a bedtime story (which we will donate in your memory). Because it was Easter we decided to embrace the special occasion and celebrate your birthday next week, after all this is what would have probably happened if you were still with us, you would have had your cake and special dinner on a different day and we will!
We love you so much and think about you non stop.
Happy 3rd Birthday.
Happy Birthday, Harrison! I still remember the day that you brought your mommy and I together..... you are a special little boy.
ReplyDeleteLove to you, K
When I lost my two babies in the first three months of pregnancy. I was very upset. No one even gave me a hug. Not even my sister's. As the year went by it was like they forgot what happened. It was not until I asked my sister's why they did not hug me or say anything. They both said it was just too hard to find the words or to express to me thier feelings because they thought it would hurt me even more. It's hard to understand other people because we wish they would react like we want them to, but that just is not so. I know in my heart that no one has forgotten about my babies. Love is shown in many different forms. Wether it be a smile, touch or even silence. Memories are never forgotten. I cry on the days I lost my little ones. I feel alone, but in many ways I feel that I am the only one who should remember them. I am thier mom and the only person they know loved/loves them. They were mine no one elses. Some people said to me...."you have one at least". That was the worst thing to hear. I would of just loved the silence instead. It is so true that "some things are better left unsaid".
ReplyDeleteGod Bless Harrison and your family. Hugs