Fighting

I am fighting the depression that comes this time of year, its insanity and anger are growing inside of me.

All I want to do is to stay home and love my children but I have to go out into the non-understanding world and try hard to be normal, focused and keep my pain locked tight inside until 5pm.  At 5pm I get into my car and let the storm clouds errupt.

This pattern is exhausting and devestates me that I will repeat this series of events for the left of my life.  I think that is why 3 years is so hard. The reality that this is my new normal and that the pain is still as sharp. I am just a better actress at holding it together.