Another Angel

On Friday October 15th. Andrew was born and passed.
Please send prayers to the Smith family.

Not so Happy Anniversary

Five years ago today DH and I visited my Grandfather in the Sandford Cemetery as he passed away the summer before our nuptials.  It was a sad but meaningful visit. We left a wedding invitation that he refused to accept while he was in the hospital as he knew he would not make it and a white rose. I carried a white rose in my bouquet as well which a presented to my Grandma at the reception.  My Grandpa was joined by my Grandma a year later, most likely of a broken heart.  I cherish and love my Grandparents and miss them daily.  My experience of mourning them taught me nothing in mourning my son who would be laid to rest at their feet.

I look back at the photo of us visiting the grave and wonder.  You see, every occasion we go back there and visit our son; birthdays, holidays and milestones. October 15th does not hold the happiness or celebration of a special day but rather a day of remembrance e to all the babies who never had the chance to live the full complete life as my Grandparents.  There will be no weddings for him and he will never have children or grandchildren of his own.  What he does have are two parents that love him very much and spend their days keeping his memory alive.

Today please remember my son, say his name and help us with our goal of supporting all the families who will unfortunately have to maneuver this dreaded journey.

Hopeful Mama

*Looking at Harrison's picture I think he looks like my Grandpa. Such an honour.

Not a happy home

I have not posted much because again I find myself in survival mode.  DH lost his job.  DH never recovered from the loss of his son and his work could no longer tolerate his low productivity.  The after shocks of events just keep rippling through our home.

DH is struggling to figure out how this all happened and I am trying my best not to break in two. 

I really wish he could get his act together and start looking for work.  I am afraid that I may need to return to work and if I do have to return early I know I will be so resentful.

Just so much to process and too hard to put my thoughts in writting at this time.