The past 4 years of stress

Summer is drawing to a close and I can feel the nip in the air in the evening, the sidewalks are bare after dinner. With the closure of summer comes some big hurdles and challenges our family needs to face. I have been out of work since May. The remainder of savings has been used up and my resume has been shared a million times with no offers.

What are the next steps? I honestly do not know. I keep crossing my fingers and trying hard to believe that we are owed our break and a job offer will arrive at the final penny.

Many ask how we don’t have savings left, friend here I know you understand. We bought a new house; both had steady jobs and were expecting our first child. Money went out to prepare the house and ready ourselves for baby. Baby never came but the money kept going out to cover the costs of the funeral and we used our savings to pay for a therapist at $130 a visit. I was on Mat leave then found out I was pregnant again. I did not work long enough to stock the accounts. The next baby arrived and she had more expenses. Dh lost his job and we were without income again. He secured a new job with a pay cut. Not to worry I was returning to work and we would have time to build the coffers up again, NOT. I was laid off. Simple as that, we are out of money.

We bought a house, had a baby, lost a son, buried a son, had a baby, Dh lost his job, I lost my job. It has been a whirlwind of stress.

Despite the stress I have really enjoyed this extra time with my daughter. I needed this time to enjoy and love her. Last summer her birth overlapping our grief I was too overwhelmed to stop. ( I was afraid of stopping as the pain was too unbearable to allow it to creep in) She is such a delight and a wonder. Friends, family please understand we are doing all that we can for our family’s best interest.

Sorry to have been absent on my posts but we head up North to the cottage on weekends and my free time during the week is used for job hunting.

We are all doing very well and handling the stress of the unknown salary quite well.

I need a few reminders that I made the decision to leave my past employer rather than stay on their terms to benefit my family. I am praying things work out for us and as always trying to be the Hopeful_mama.

Quiet Baby

Elodie loves her books and many of her books are about babies or the alphabet.
Q- Quiet Shh, finger against pursed lips next to a sleeping baby.

Every time she sees a picture of Harrison she Shhhs. That's right Hun, Harrison is sleeping.
 Harrison is just a picture of a sleeping baby at this point to her. I am happy she recognizes his picture in the house even if it is to remind us to be quiet so he can rest in peace.