Optimism

Optimists have a tendency to make lemons out of lemonade, and to then see the glass as half-full when it's half-empty. It's an admirable quality, one that can positively affect mental and physical health. Some optimists consistently ascribe benevolent motives to others and interpret situations in the best possible light, others simply disassociate their internal mood from external circumstances, no matter how sticky. Adding in a bit of complexity, the latest research shows that tempering a sunny disposition with a small dose of realism or even pessimism might be the best way to build resilience and achieve one's goals.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/optimism

Thank you Psychology Today for sharing that it is ok to have a tempered disposition. Today’s post was going to be a reminder to myself to be optimistic. I spent some time researching the definition of the word and its many interpretations. The result of my research is I really do think I am optimistic regardless of my situation. I believe that leaving my job will hopefully result in a better work/life balance. I believed that my second pregnancy would result in a beautiful outcome, and I am blessed. I am still trying hard to believe that a job offer will come at the eleventh hour and we will not need to relocate. I believe life will be clear sailing in my second half of life and I just need to get through this first half with my head held high. Another optomistic thing I do is to always make excuses for other drivers when they cut me off or when the check out lady is grumpy, they just must be having a rotten day and I should smile harder at them.

I just love the image I posted above. I am the big flying elephant without a harness reaching for the monkey (one of the symbols we associate with Harrison, his stone) whom is doing his best to reach out and give me faith that the leap was worth it and we will be together again.  If an of you know where I could get a full size copy of the print I would love to frame it above my desk.

Baby Angel Army

Conversation about Babylost Blogging
by: uberangie


I came across these two videos and loved how my fellow blogger shared her feelings. Too often I feel that my friends and family feel the same way about my situation and have unfortunately made some pretty insensitive comments.  The result has been I do not want to talk to them in fear of being judged and handling their insensitivity's. 

This second video made me laugh from the irony and the direct language. This is a language that we ( babyloss fellows) do speak. 


Babylost Conversation
by: uberangie



Credits to Uberangie's blog

Lumpai

Life for me is not all about moaning and groaning. Its true I have a lot to complain about these day (no job, child loss, house may be sold) but there is more to me, really! Since this blog is about living life I thought I would share a fun recipe I make for my family. Lumpia which is basically an egg roll from the Philippines.

I enjoy this recipe because you can not go wrong and you can toss in whatever ingredients you wish for a fun economical meal.

Ingredients:

Vermicelli nests

Boiling Water

Soak Vermicelli in boiling water according to package directions

1 Onion

Package of Ground Meat ( I used turkey)

1 Cup of Frozen cut Green Beans

2 Cups of Grated Carrot (give or take)

Pepper to taste

Soy Sauce

1 Egg

1 Package of Egg Roll Wrappers
(feel free to add garlic, ginger, oyster sauce, plum sauce..you get the idea...season how you wish)

Fry everything together until meat is fully cooked (Go ahead dump in anything) Add chopped up cooked vermicelli

Combine some Cornstarch and water in a small dish to use as a glue on your wrappers

Place 1/4 of mixture on wraper

Roll them up, glue down the edges with cornstarch and water mixture.

Fry them up with a small amount of cooking spray or oil.

Serve with a dipping sauce.

Suggested Sauce
Brown Sauce
3/4 Cup of Water
1 Tbsp Cornstarch
1/4 Cup of White sugar
3 Tbsp of Oyster Sauce
2 Tbsp of Lemon Juice
1/4 tsp of Garlic Powder
1 tsp of Beef Bouillon Powder

Combine in sauce pan. Heat and stir until boiling.

Or make your favourite peanut dipping sauce.

Back to School

A had a mini melt down yesterday while pushing the stroller.  The school kids were getting off the bus and the mothers were all anxiously waiting to apprehensively and hoping their kids had a good first day.  I had to duck down and dry my eyes before I excused myself and the stroller through the crowd.  Even though I am blessed to have a child it still hurts me to see all the opportunities and milestones I will be missing with my son.

Last year I was quite down about the first day of school and I shared it with some people and they were a bit confused how I could feel this way as one day too soon Elodie and I will experience the separation of her going off to school.  I wish people would understand that it has nothing to do with her, I know I will have that day with her but I should also be having that day first with him to ease my anxiety of sending her to school later on.  I wish more people would understand that she has nothing to do with my feelings of missing him. The experiences with her do not replace what I have missed with him, these experience are unique to her as they would have been uniquely his.

Panic?

I am happy in a sort of weird way. I keep investigating why I don't feel more stressed out and panicked, after all we are in the process of losing our house. 10 more days until we decide to list.  I have not cried or screamed, I am kind of numb but not in that depressive way. Every morning I am greeted to cuddles and Elodie wanting to giggle so we let the tickle monster loose each morning that has be laughing along.  Maybe it is true laughter is the best medicine or maybe I have already faced the toughest most stressful time in my life that this is just too inconsequential to feel.  Whatever it is I am managing well.

I Cry for You

I keep revisiting the day we laid you to rest son, the nip in the air, where people stood, and how I felt that I was living in a fish bowl that I could not escape from. I revisit my feelings that day often, the tears the pain and the torment of having your little body laying at my feet and wanting so bad to scoop you up into my arms. But what I remember most was missing you, missing you against me and missing who you are/were.

It struck me the other day that I was most likely the only one crying for you that day. I may be the only one who really knew you and felt your love. Chances are everyone else was standing around looking at your Dad and I and feeling dumbstruck on how to help us. Harrison, you need to know I was crying for you. I can muddle through this pain but it is for you I want. I want for you to have all and each day I try my best to provide you with my love and a promising future.